


Cookies

by Subtlety Lost (fishstic)



Series: Spymaster's Daughter: Prendre son courage à deux mains [2]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Acrophobia, F/F, and a 'slight' panic attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-18
Updated: 2016-06-18
Packaged: 2018-07-15 19:15:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7235158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fishstic/pseuds/Subtlety%20Lost
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What's the absolute worst that could happen when you decide to have a rooftop chat with your crush?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cookies

"Hey you," Sera said as Gabrielle walked into the room. "You're just who I wanted to see. Come here with me, I've got something to show you.”

Gabrielle smiled. "I'd go anywhere for you, Sera."

"Oh, you would, yeah?" Sera replied, and when Gabrielle nodded she added, "Careful, might live to regret that one." She reached out and took Gabrielle's hand gently, and led her to the window that opened up to a section of the roof. "Out here, yeah. She stepped up onto the edge of it. "Follow me."

Gabrielle bit her lip and paled slightly.  _ Of all places, why the roof? _ She took a deep breath and stepped up onto the edge of the window as Sera stepped out onto the roof.  _ This is bad. _ It seemed like her whole body was shaking as she stepped onto the roof.  _ Just tell her. _ Her lips parted tightly to tell Sera she was afraid but the words never came, so she closed them.  _ Don't hide this from her! It can't end well if you do. Not for either of us. _ She watched the carefree way that Sera moved as she crossed the roof, and was awestruck by how we unafraid Sera was. It amazed her how anyone could possibly not be at all afraid of heights.

Sera sat down on the edge of the roof and looked back at Gabrielle. "You coming or what?"

Gabrielle nodded and fought against her every instinct that suggested running, fleeing and her every thought that freezing up or dying would be better options, despite her arms and legs feeling like thousand pound dead weights she made her way to the edge of the roof and sat down. She was so focused on making herself do this that she missed when Sera had brought out the cookie as until she looked over to her.

"Eugh." Sera made a face at the cookie she was holding. "I still friggen hate them. And raisins. Eugh." Gabriele took a breath to try to calm herself and nodded slightly to herself as she decided that watching Sera closely was a better idea than even attempting to think.

Sera tilted her head at Gabrielle. "You alright there, Lady Herald?"

Gabrielle nodded despite the fact that 'alright' was just about the furthest thing from what she actually was as possible. “I'm just a little confused, is all," she said though her voice was straining from the effort of holding back both her tears and her fears. “It's not a bad confused though. And I'm glad I get to be here with you."

Sera nodded, then she looked down at the cookie in her hand, ghosts of tears glistened in her eyes and a slight frown graced her lips. "When I was little," she said, "I got caught stealing. You get Alienage or worse for that, but the 'Lady Emmald' took me in. She was sick and couldn't have children. I had no parents, so it worked out. Anyway, she gets a year sicker so I ask about cookies. Figure I can pass that on. Moms are supposed to bake, right? Well, turns out she couldn't cook, missed that talk with her mom I guess."

"Aw, right?" A spark of anger lit in her eyes momentarily and if Gabrielle's arms had felt like anything other than dead weight she would have reached out to her. "Well, no. She was a bitch. The ones she 'made' she bought and pretended, kept me away from the baker so I wouldn't find out. She did that by lying to me. Said the baker hated Elves. I hated him. She let me hate him to protect her own stupid pride." Her voice grew angrier and more heated as she talked. "I hate..." she stopped for a moment, taking a breath that seemed to cause her whole body to tremble. Her voice was much softer when she spoke again, "I hate cookies and I hate pride. 'Pride Cookies'."

Sera looked at Gabrielle and smiled very slightly. "I thought maybe I could learn to make cookies, then maybe you and I could make-I dunno, 'Us cookies'. What do you think?"

Gabrielle forced herself to smile back at Sera, despite her fear. She was trying very hard not to cry. She didn't want to give Sera the wrong idea. "I..." her voice was fighting her, threatening to betray her closely guarded tears and make it seem like she didn't want this. She took a deep breath and said, "I would love to do that with you, Sera." She bit her lip for a moment before continuing, "but I don't like cookies either."

Sera nodded and looked down at the cookie in her hand. "Why not? They're supposed to be good, all full of sugar and junk. I suppose it doesn't really matter. It's not really about the cookies. We can find another way to make good memories." She smiled again and held up the cookie. "I hate learning lessons; makes my stomach hurt. I suppose I should throw this junk away."

"Throwing them sounds fun," Gabrielle said in yet another attempt to pretend like she wasn't actually scared.

"You think?" Sera said with a smile and crushed the cookie in her hand then tossed the crumbles away. She smiled at Gabrielle for a moment then leaned back looking up at the sky.

Gabrielle tried to focus on her breathing, the sounds of the birds anything other than how she felt. It wasn't working. "Sera?" she said quietly.

"Yeah?" Sera replied still looking up at the sky.

"Can we... get off the roof?" That time the tears she was fighting back were apparent in her voice, and Sera must have been able to hear them because she immediately grabbed Gabrielle's hand and gave her a look of immense concern.

"Absolutely. This part? Bad idea, yeah."

Gabrielle wanted to tell Sera she agreed but didn't want to offend her. Her voice stopped responding. The fear. The shakiness clawing at her. Slipping. The feeling that everything was going to disappear out from under her and leave her falling through a dark endless nothing harsh and cruel forever and eternity the word would claim her then and forever would she remain falling.

“Gabrielle!”

Sera’s voice snapped her to reality briefly. She was trembling. Tears escaped, no will to hold them back any longer. Clinging to the elf, then Sera was gone.

“Gabrielle, what’s wrong?”

Her voice seemed far away, like an animal she needed to coax out of hiding. This did not help her. “Afraid.” She could not say more. For a brief moment there was contact.

“Afraid of what?”

The answer would not come. What came? A weight. A surface. Solid. The floor under her feet and a gentle pressure on her shoulder guiding her to sit. Contact. So much contact. Ground. Grounding her. She could not see through the tears. Could not see Sera.

“Afraid of me?”

“No! Never!” The fierceness scared her. She wasn’t expecting. The Answer. The Answer came. “Heights.”

Movement. The tears made it too hard to see. Couldn’t see. Couldn’t stop crying.  _ Maker, why can’t I stop? _ Contact. Arms gently moving her, letting her lean against. Holding her.

“I won’t let you fall.”

A nod. Simple. More tears. Simple. “Thank you.” Simple. “I’m sorry.” Simple.

“You don’t need to be.”

_ I’m sorry. Complex. _ No reply. Complex.

Gabrielle leaned against Sera’s chest while sitting under the window with her. The panic eased but the tears would not. They had been contained too long. Far too long. Longer than she thought. Longer than she expected. There were dreams. Dreams. Nightmares. About everything. About Haven. About Corypheus. About fire. About Dragons. About Archdemons. The tears brought the images back. The images brought more tears.

Sera held Gabrielle close. It was fair. She was happy to. Gabrielle endured fear and panic to be with her, to listen to her thing. It was fair she help Gabrielle through the aftermath. Part of her was absolutely sure there was more to the tears than just “afraid of heights.”

Sera stayed. Just a few months and so much had happened. So much. Gabrielle—the Herald, the Inquisitor, the former bard, the spymaster’s daughter. Gabrielle, a friend. So many titles. Then why did it feel like one was missing?

Sera watched her carefully. Held her carefully. Hummed to her. The tears dampened her face, forced her to hide her dazzling blue eyes. Her cheeks flushed to where the freckles were barely visible. A slight frown graced her lips and she was shivering. Why must tears hide beauty?

Over time, could have been five minutes. Could have been ten. Gabrielle’s breathing evened out and the tears came to a stop. She had cried herself to sleep.

Sera moved her to laying on the seat under the window.  _ What now? _ Sera frowned slightly. Gabrielle hates cold and her room could get fairly cold at night.  _ But what to do? _ If she tried to move her it was likely Gabrielle might wake up, but she needed sleep. Moving her? Not a good idea. 

Instead Sera searched through her things and found silk. Silk bolts from when she’d wanted to make things. Silk wasn’t warm, but it was better than nothing. Perhaps it would be warmer with two or three? Sera brought the silk over to the window and covered Gabrielle in it. Many layers of it. As much as she had. Like covering her in several very thin blankets. She hoped it would be enough and sat down beside her. Gently running her fingers through Gabrielle’s hair as she slept. 


End file.
